Aubrien’s Engagement Anniversary
Aubrien Jimenez died one year ago today. I and many others are still deeply and profoundly impacted by the light she shined. I often contemplate her life, her actions, her family, and the incredible honor I had to be a part of it.
Mario, her father, and I met at IMG when he coached my son in 2010. We stayed in contact, and then he joined me in starting Inspiration Academy in 2014. We worked long hours, and Aubrien was always close by, usually waiting for her dad to finish up some work so they could go home. I usually felt bad because she would wait patiently for hours. I don’t think she ever complained; she kept busy with some activity or another. I would engage her in conversation, often out of guilt on my part; she was shockingly alert, engaging, and easy to talk to. She was always so polite and pure that it often made me wonder if she was overly trained in manners. As time passed, I began to realize that she was that simple, pure, and delightful. We had gone on vacations together, be it Fourth of July celebrations or Thanksgiving at a mutual friend's house in Alabama. During these trips, she never forced herself into a conversation or complained but was always engaged when needed with an exquisite sense of humor and contagious laugh. She was passionate about her family, and they shared fandom of the Steelers, the Pittsburgh Pirates, and the University of Connecticut. She loved fishing, and she loved her birds and would share pictures of birds with you for as long as you could endure.
This video is from her seventh-grade mentorship group. Her mentor described her as enthusiastic, confident, sometimes goofy, and an athlete who occasionally flashed a dainty side with her love of going to the dollar store to get nail polish.
In her eighth-grade year, I got to teach her Bible class. The class had a few exceptional distraction makers, which made the course both more rewarding and challenging from my perspective. She was very respectful and yet spacey. At times, her input would be profound and unusually deep for a student her age. But perhaps my favorite moments were when one of our “troublemakers” would make some hilarious but distracting comment. Sometimes it is very hard not to laugh, and my students sensed my weakness. I would try to hold it together and respond appropriately; I looked around the class to buy some time to gather myself, and on multiple occasions, I would catch her eyes, and she would lose it and make me bust out laughing too. “But it was just too funny, Mr. Speir.” She was so filled with joy, silliness, and fun.
Then during the summer before her 9th-grade year. Mario called me while I was in Colorado because my daughter was about to get engaged. Now before I describe what happened next, I need to explain in part my relationship with Mario. We are brothers in Christ and will joke around a lot and find a way to compete against each other in just about everything—especially fantasy football. We also share a desire for deeper biblical teachings that many Christians often overlook. Teachings like, “In this world, you will face many trials and tribulations.” We had gone through our fair share of trials separately and together. We would sharpen each other as iron sharpens iron. It is during those trials that we would encourage each other to be resolved to act like Job and trust God no matter what, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.”
Mario calls me and tells me that he is concerned about Aubrien, and that one doctor said to them that her condition appears to be more than just allergies or sinus infection and that he should see an oncologist or some other specialist (I can’t remember). When he told me that, I had an overwhelming knowing that Aubrien was dying. I didn’t know what to do. I prayed for Aubrien on the phone and then hung up and told my wife that I had to leave Colorado and be with Mario. She said, “Why?” I said, “I don’t know.” She said, “That doesn’t make any sense.” I said, “I have to go.” She got upset that I would leave my own daughter’s engagement because, “I DoN’t kNoW!!” So, I blurted out that Aubrien was dying. Then we wrestled through why I felt that way, did I really know, and if so, what I should do about it. We decided that I would stay in Colorado and wait to see if and what I should do other than pray.
After that next appointment, MRIs were ordered, then surgery, biopsy, and Aubrien was diagnosed with an extremely rare stage 4 cancer in her brain. Mario called me and told me the news, and he repeated our line, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” Even as I write these words, it breaks me over and over again.
As a community at Inspiration Academy, we had prayer meetings and did our best to surround the Jimenez family with love and support. Things didn’t look good for a while. It was touch and go, and Kimber, Aubrien’s mother, journaled everything. Kimber’s writing was open, honest, and gut-wrenching as she shared every step of Aubrien’s process.
She courageously provided visibility to our local community through her obedience to God. Mario stoically and confidently led his family in faith and walked a seemingly impossible line.
Hope for recovery was slim, but as we know, all things are possible with God. With all the treatments and prayers, progress was being made. We were thrilled to learn that Aubrien could make it to Thanksgiving that year, and we were so happy to spend some time with her. Mario continued his unbeaten streak with our flag football game, and I got to be on his team this time. So once again, our host, John Bowman, and his team, including my soon-to-be son-in-law, lost, and were thrown into the cold Gulf waters of Alabama (that was nice).
During this time, Aubrien was progressing nicely and was even given the go-ahead to train for softball, which she did with Mario. She was committed to getting back on the field with her teammates. In December, our daughter got married, and I was thrilled that Mario and Kimber were able to make it and we all had a great time, and I considered it a victory because I told Mario that he had to dance, and he did.
Then in January, Aubrien was cancer free and got to ring the bell at the hospital. We rejoiced. It appeared that God had “changed” his mind (there is biblical precedent for this). Aubrien’s road to recovery had started.
During that time, however, she became weaker and had a lot of pain. So, they took Aubrien back in and found that the cancer had spread throughout various parts of her body. Gears shifted back into chemotherapy and living at the hospital. During this time, the prognosis worsened. Sometime in May, during our leadership meeting at Inspiration Academy, we were praying for Aubrien, and my wife Claire received a vision. Think of a vision as a vivid daydream, not of your own making. In this vision, Claire was emotionally overwhelmed as she saw Aubrien with full and beautiful long hair and a stunning wedding dress. She held on to that vision and then, a little bit later, had a dream. She talked to Kimber in the dream and said, “It’s time. You need to prepare.” Then the dream flashed to Aubrien’s funeral.
Later that day, Claire shared with another brother in Christ at IA and me what God had revealed to her, and we prayed and felt like she needed to share this with Kimber. Claire then shared with Kimber what God had revealed to her.
Then the Jimenez family had to make decisions regarding Aubrien’s care that are too difficult even now to comprehend. On June 2nd, Aubrien came back home to receive hospice care. She wanted to be close to family and friends. I had been desperate to help and found that I could help by just being with the family when they woke up throughout the day and when they went to sleep. I could run errands, coordinate logistics, minister to needs, prepare people to see her, and sometimes hang out and watch the college world series with Mario. Some of the most memorable conversations I had with people were trying to explain the unfathomable experience of saying goodbye to someone so young and who somehow was still filled with such joy and love for them. I would explain that Aubrien knew where she was going and that she was prepared. Wow, even as I write this, it is so powerful to see God’s hand at work and gain a new understanding of His ways. Mario and Kimber PREPARED her. She knew where she was going, and she was prepared. She was so well prepared, at the end she wanted to go. She said her goodbyes with overflowing love, joy, and care, and she knew Jesus was waiting for her and wanted to go.
We would end every evening by singing songs of adoration to our God. Somehow, someway in the middle of such sadness all our defenses and distractions and preconceived notions of what we thought God should be stripped away, we were left naked before God. And just when you thought you were wrecked and broken before the Lord, you would open your eyes for a second and see Aubrien so weak but just strong enough to hold up her holy hand in praise to our God. We had changed, but God is still God, and worshipping Him is right. And as Kimber led us into what was right, God inhabited our praises. GOD INHABITED OUR PRAISES. I don’t know how, and I can’t even describe it, but He did.
Those 20 days were both tragic and beautiful. They were supernatural. They were heavenly. Like experiencing every fear you’ve ever had melting into a heavenly waiting period that you trust will be poured out with all of who you are into an eternal peace.
Although I don’t fully understand it all today, I have a deeper understanding than I did a year ago. God had prepared and blessed me to help usher in and witness the most powerful engagement ceremonies I could have imagined. Aubrien’s purity, beauty, joy, and love for others shined so brightly and so powerfully. Words can’t describe the soul-piercing beauty that she so thoroughly possessed. When she would love on her teachers and friends, bless them, and hope they would have a good day, it literally buckled my knees. She was too good for this world. And now I believe she is part of the great cloud of witnesses waiting as a kind of first fruit for us to join her in the great marriage supper of the lamb.
So, how can God be glorified through such a tragedy? The light shines brightest through the darkness. So many lives have been changed by the light of Aubrien. And we know that light is the light of Jesus Christ shining forth through Aubrien and given to her as He claimed her and so beautifully called her home.
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